Tag Archives: Li Ling

Dogged Ma; chapter fourteen, part two

Chapter Fourteen; Part Two

I handed Ted a cup of coffee before taking one myself.  I sat across from him in a chair as I was in a strange mood.  Skittish, I’d say.  Not because we’d had sex already, but because my body was changing.  I knew it wouldn’t be long before I had to explain my precarious situation, but I didn’t want it to be tonight.  Unfortunately, that probably meant no hands-on fooling around as the signs were unmistakable.  Then again, he was a man.  What did he know about pregnancy?  What I knew was that he was looking at me with puppy-dog eyes, wondering why I was so far away.  I hesitated a moment before giving in to my impulses and plopping down besides him on the couch.  He pulled me to him, careful not to jostle my coffee.  I set down the cup on the table because I didn’t trust myself not to spill.

“Thanks for dinner,” Ted whispered in my ear before nuzzling my neck.  I shivered as I draped my arms around him.  My hormones were triumphing over my brains as usual, and I quickly gave in.  “Is there any way I can repay you?”  He slid his hand over my breast, frustrated at the limited access.  One problem with dresses was that there was no graceful fondling of naked breasts.  Ted realized that trying to worm his way in on top was futile, so he dropped his hand to my knee and slid it up to my thigh.  He met with more success on this route.

“Why don’t you show me your bedroom?”  Ted asked huskily, removing his hand from my thigh.  I nodded as I stood up, holding my hand out to him.  He grabbed it to pull himself up, leaving his coffee behind.

“This is it,” I said, gesturing around me.  I hadn’t done much with it as I didn’t spend much time in it.  However, I had pictures of my family on the wall which gave it a homey touch.

“Maybe we could keep the lights off,” Ted suggested, eyeing my mother’s stern face in consternation.  I suppressed a giggle as I complied; turning off the lights benefited me as well.

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Dogged Ma; chapter eight

Chapter Eight

“Margaret!  Let us in!”  It was Thursday night, and someone was banging at my door.  Shit.  It was Wind and Ned.  Again, somebody had let them in.  I had half a mind to talk to the landlord about the lax security, but it didn’t seem worth the effort.

“Wind, Ned, how nice of you to drop by.”  I pasted a smile on my face as I opened my door.  “Ever hear of phoning first?”

“I’m here to cleanse your apartment,” Wind announced, pushing me aside.  She was wearing a flowing skirt decorated with tarot card figures and a red peasant blouse.  She had a scarf wound around her head, and she was at her most fey.  Ned was trailing her, rolling his eyes at her back.  I would have laughed if I weren’t completely befuddled as to what Wind was saying.  “Ned and I talked it over and decided that it was the devil who’s been talking to you—not God.  That’s why I need to do a cleansing ceremony.”  She opened her bag and dumped the contents of it onto the coffee table in my living room.

“Wind, it wasn’t the devil,” I interposed, eyeing the items with curiosity.  She had sage, tarot cards, a bottle of a clear liquid, and a few other things I couldn’t identify.  “I’ve met Lucifer, so I know it wasn’t him.”  The minute I said that, I wished I hadn’t.  For some reason, I wanted to keep Lucifer to myself.  Me and my big mouth.

“You met the devil?  What’s he like?”  Ned asked, his eyes wide.  “Is he just too gruesome for words?”

“Actually, he’s the best-looking man I’ve ever met,” I said, keeping my voice casual.  I couldn’t fool my two best friends, however, and they exchanged looks of horror.  “After Alan, of course.”  I tried to switch tacks, but they were having none of that.

“You have a crush on the devil?”  Wind asked, clutching her sage to her bosom.

“I didn’t say that,” I protested, feeling a twinge of conscience.  If I were to be absolutely honest, I did have a little crush on the Morningstar.  “I was talking strictly about his physical pulchritude, which is magnificent.”

“What did he want?”  Ned asked, eyeing me with curiosity.  “I mean, Lucifer just doesn’t show up to say hi, does he?”

We all sat down in the living room as I unfolded my tale about meeting Lucifer.  They couldn’t believe I hadn’t told them right away, but they forgave me when I said that I needed time to digest meeting the devil.  What I didn’t tell them was how Lucifer had almost seduced me into revealing what God wanted with me.  I also didn’t divulge God’s warning about what might happen if I took Lucifer up on his offer.  I knew I should have told them everything, but I wanted to keep something to myself.  My entire life had been ripped apart the last few weeks, and I wanted to maintain a vestige of privacy.  At least, that’s what I told myself.

“God, the devil, the Angel of Death, and a protection angel,” Ned mused, looking shell-shocked.  “You’ve had quite the experience, haven’t you?”  He looked as if he was wondering whom I’d meet next.  I did, too, what with the way celestial beings were using my apartment as Grand Central Station.

“I have a date with Ted tomorrow night as well,” I said brightly, trying to change the tenor of the conversation.

“That’s right,” Ned said, brightening as well.  “Wouldn’t it be funny if he turned out to be an alien or something as well?”  The look I shot him said it most definitely would not be funny, thank you very much.

“Who’s Ted?”  Wind asked, looking from Ned to me and back.  That reminded us that we hadn’t told her about the drama on Saturday, so we were off and running.  We told her everything in excruciating detail, and I had Ned howling with my recitation of misdeeds I had committed at said party.  When we reached the part of Ned grappling with his father, well, we all lost it.  It had been terrifying at the time, but it was hysterical in retrospect.  How white trash can you get, wrestling with your father in his living room?  While you’re both wearing tuxes?  It tickled our funny bone to no end.

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Dogged Ma; chapter six, part two

Chapter Six, Part Two

“You know, that stuff is bad for you,” God said, leaning against my refrigerator.  I sighed as I turned to face Him.  He was in chartreuse this time, which was hard on the eyes.  Immediately, He muted it to a dusty rose.  I surmised He had chosen the chartreuse simply for effect.  How like Him.

“I hope You’re not planning on doing this after Gwen is born,” I said sharply, realizing the stupidity of my statement as soon as it escaped my mouth.  Of course, He wouldn’t stop visiting once His child was born.  If anything, He’d probably increase the frequency of His unplanned visits in order to meddle in Gwen’s affairs.  It pissed me off to no end that I no longer had a modicum of control over my life, and I voiced my displeasure to God.  “You know, You’re working my last nerve.  Couldn’t You at least have the decency to stick to a schedule so I don’t have to worry about You showing up unannounced?”  God didn’t answer, which ratcheted my irritation tenfold.

“This shit has got to stop,” I shouted, my hands on my hips.  I didn’t know if it was my hormones going in overdrive, but I’d had enough of the Almighty and His highhanded ways.  “Get the fuck out of my kitchen.  Now!”  God still didn’t speak, nor did He move.  Without thinking, I picked up a pan and hurled it at Him.  It hit Him in the pecs and bounced off harmlessly.  It fell to the floor with a loud thud, causing me to jump.  God slowly turned translucent as I hauled another pot His way.  This time, the pot went through Him, hit the fridge and slid to the floor.  Past caring, I hurled pot after pan after plate at Him, some smashing in bits when they hit the floor.  Some minutes later, I finally ran out of gas and sagged against the counter.  Eyeing the carnage with distaste, I grabbed the broom and the dustpan from the closet.

“You done with your little snit?”  God asked, having the audacity to sound amused.  He remained transparent, which greatly bothered me.  I didn’t like being able to see through God, but He didn’t give a damn about my feelings, or so it seemed.  “Or is there more you’d like to get off your chest?”

“I’m through,” I sulked, tossing the debris into the garbage can.  “What the fuck do You want?”  I knew my mouth was going to get me into trouble with God one of these days, but I couldn’t help myself.  Something about Him brought out the worst in me.

“I just wanted to tell you that you’ll be receiving a visit from My son shortly.  Ignore everything he says.”  God smiled suddenly, nearly knocking me over with the dazzle.  It was spooky looking at a pair of gleaming teeth set in—nothingness.  Just like that, He was gone.

“Shit,” I muttered, cradling my head in my hands.  When I had recovered from His visit, I picked up my cell phone to speed-dial Pie-A-Plenty, the nearest pizza shop.  As I was about to punch the button, a portal appeared in my kitchen.  Great.  It was Lucifer.  At least I was still in my work clothes, which meant a slim red skirt and a black blouse.  I chided myself for giving a damn and punched the button on the dial.  Lucifer was going to have to wait until I ordered my pizza before telling me whatever it was he wanted to say.  I was too damn disgruntled to deal with him on a partially-empty stomach.

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