I flicked on the television, but I couldn’t concentrate. I knew no matter what he’d said that I’d fucked up. Even though he hadn’t screamed at me, I could feel the wall between us. Why the hell he was giving me another chance, I didn’t know. I was grateful, of course, but I wondered if he would ever trust me again. Hell, I wouldn’t trust me if I were him, so why should he? It just fucking sucked because I haven’t been so attracted to someone in such a long time. Maybe I subconsciously wanted to fuck things up because I didn’t feel I deserved someone as wonderful as Martinez.
“Hey, how’d it go?” Matt asked, breaking in my reverie. I hadn’t even heard him come in, which was how deep in thought I’d been. Banana was sound asleep in his arms, and he had a Kowalski bag dangling from his hand. “Banana ice cream,” he mouthed, holding up the bag. My heart smote me. I was the one who’d promised to get the ice cream, and Matt was the one who’d followed through. What did I ever do to deserve such wonderful men in my life, and why didn’t I treat them better?
“Ice cream,” Banana said sleepily, stirring in Matt’s arms. “Uncle Matt, I want ice cream. You promised.” Actually, I promised.
“Ok, doll, but then you have to go to bed, ok?” Matt carried Banana to the kitchen, and I was right behind him. He handed Banana over to me while he scooped up two balls of ice cream in a small bowl. We went back into the living room so Banana could eat. I turned off the television and watched in amusement as Banana struggled with her tiredness in order to eat her ice cream.