FunLand – Minna Hong

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Duck, Duck, Dead Duck; chapter fourteen, part two

Posted on November 17, 2020 by Minna Hong • 0 Comments

I dismissed the thoughts as I pulled on my head. I was ninety percent certain that Shannon was the culprit which meant I could relax. No one would be trying to off me today. I could walk freely among the children and not worry about anything more than getting food on my outfit. The darlings tended to have their hands full when they wanted to hug me and would through their arms around me ad nauseam without thinking to pass along their booty to their beaming parents first. Consequently, at the end of the day, I became a walking billboard for the park’s menu. I usually ended up smelling like I’d been dipped in a vat of hot oil, and it wasn’t pleasant. However, I was so ecstatic not to be the target of someone’s venom, I didn’t mind the thought of all those spoiled children ruining my day. Much.

I got up and reluctantly left the sanctuary of the green room. Hundreds of screaming brats greeted my ears. Even though they were muffled by the giant head I was wearing, I could still hear more than I wanted. I would like to wear earplugs as I worked, but I couldn’t risk missing a request from one of the kids while I was off in my own world. I had tried it once when I first started working, and Eddie had caught me at it. He reamed me out but good and threatened to fire me if I ever did it again. At that time, I valued my job too much to do anything that smacked of insurrection. Now, however, I couldn’t care less; I’d have to think about bringing my earplugs tomorrow.

“Mommy! It’s Maisie. She’s back!” A towheaded boy with his front teeth missing raced towards me, cotton candy in one hand, a hot dog in the other. He flung his arms around me, nearly knocking me backwards. He was pretty strong for a small fry, and I had to dig in my heels so I wouldn’t fall over. “I missed you, Maisie! Do you remember me? It’s Ryan Wheeler. I came here five times last year.” He let go of his death grip but kept his hands on me.

“Ryan Wheeler,” I said in my high, rodent-like voice. “Of course I remember you. How could I forget?” The little tyke was smearing blue raspberry cotton candy down the front of my costume with one hand while patting me on the back with the other—most likely spreading mustard while he was at it.

Duck, Duck, Dead Duck; chapter fourteen, part one

Posted on November 12, 2020 by Minna Hong • 0 Comments

“Welcome back, Bea. Long time, no see.” Antoinette greeted me with a smirk on her face, her usual expression. She fluttered her hand at me so I would notice the rock sitting on her finger. It was a large garnet and looked like it’d be a bitch to wear.

“Nice ring,” I said offhandedly.

“Oh, this?” Antoinette touched it, a pleased smile on her face. “It was a little gift from me to me. I’ve been so sad, you know, what with the deaths and all. I thought it would cheer me up. The garnet is my birthstone. That’s January, you know. Anyway….” She flicked her hair back to show off the matching earrings. Where the hell did she get that kind of money? As far as I knew, she’s not a debutante or the inheritor of a trust fund. I knew there was no way she could afford a ring like that on a salary like ours—unless Eddie was giving her one hell of a perk.

“Where’d you get the money?” I asked, not able to think of a way to put it delicately.

“Ooooh, Phillip was nice enough to loan it to me. Eddie left me a little something in his will, which should be probated in the upcoming weeks. Isn’t Phillip just the sweetest man?” She fluttered her fingers at me again, looking like the proverbial cat with the canary. She hadn’t even asked how I was. Bitch. “By the way, Phillip would like to see you in his office ASAP.” It figured that she would wait before giving me the message. I sighed and got up to see Phillip. Anything to prolong putting on that damned head. I noticed that Maisie was back and ready for action, so I assumed that I would be returning to my old identity.

“Antoinette said you wanted to see me?” I said, poking my head into the office.

“Bea! Come in! Sit down!” Phillip jumped up from his chair and ushered me into the office. As it was about the size of my bedroom, there wasn’t much room for ushering. He gently deposited me into the chair across from his desk as if I were eight months pregnant before scurrying back to his side. I didn’t know him very well, but it seemed to me that he was uneasy about something. Before he sat down, I noticed that the zipper on his fly wasn’t quite zipped. I wondered if I should point it out or just wait until he went to the bathroom and discovered it for himself. I decided on the latter as I had a hunch that it would embarrass him terribly if I were to call attention to it.

“How are you?” Phillip asked, his eyes blinking rapidly. Even though he was as good-looking as ever, there was something vaguely ferret-like about him. It diminished his appeal greatly. “I mean, how are you really doing? How’s the shoulder?”

“Fine,” I said briefly, not wanting to talk about my injury. It was much better and didn’t hurt nearly as much, but I still had to take at least one pain pill a day to survive.

“Are you sure you didn’t catch sight of who did this to you?” Phillip asked, leaning forward. He tapped his pen on the desk, drawing attention to the journal sitting the top of the desk, half hidden. He was unaware of what he was doing as he focused on my face. I glanced at the papers and glimpsed something that puzzled me. I didn’t read well upside down, but it looked somewhat familiar.