Dogged Ma; chapter fifteen

Chapter Fifteen

I felt horrible about kicking out Ted last night, then not returning his calls.  He’d left three of them, each increasingly desperate.  I knew that my temper got the best of me sometimes, and he had a right to question the origins of my pregnancy.  I hadn’t explained it very well, and it was a strange-sounding story if you’d never met God face-to-face as I had.  I decided to dress up, go over and make amends for my highhanded behavior.  I found a dress that was quite sexy though it showed off my slightly-bulging stomach.  It was a moss green color and dipped to show my increased bust-line.  I pinned my hair up in a ‘sloppy’ bun—which was artfully crafted, of course—before putting on the finishing touches.  I left off the makeup because I hated smearing when I had sex.  As I drove over, I felt happier than I had in a while.  Ted was a reasonable man, and I knew that we could work things out.

“Margaret!”  Ted said, looking shocked as he opened the door a few inches.  I didn’t notice, however, as I was eager to say my piece which I’d rehearsed on the way over.

“Ted, I’m really sorry for springing the news on you that way.  I know it’s a lot to deal with and—”

“You should have called.  Now is not a good time, Margaret,” Ted said, trying to smile.  He wouldn’t open the door any further, however, and his odd behavior reminded me of the night his ex had come barging in on us about to have sex.  I looked closely at Ted and noticed that his hair was mussed, he had traces of lipstick on his lips, and he was sporting an erection.

“Oh, I get it,” I said, my tone frosty.  I could feel my cheeks burning despite my attempt to stay calm.  Motherfucker was playing me for a fool, and I didn’t like it one bit.

“It’s not what it looks like—”

“Teddy?  Who’s at the door?  I’m getting lonely all by myself.”  It was the not-so-dulcet tones of his ex, and she sounded nicely lubricated.  “Come back to Lucinda.”

“Margaret, listen,” Ted said, grabbing my arm.  “We haven’t, we weren’t, that is, it was just kissing.”  He shifted his eyes away, knowing that he sounded like a jerk.

“I see,” I said coldly, stepping out of his grasp.  “Well, I’ll let you return to Lucinda, then.  Wouldn’t want to keep her waiting.”  I turned on my heel and marched to my car, tears blurring my sight.

“Margaret, please!  Come back,” Ted called at the top of his lungs.  I ignored him, however, as I didn’t do sloppy seconds.  It sure hadn’t taken him long to go back to the bitch, had it?  I jumped in my car and fumbled with my keys, finally inserting the right one into the ignition.  As soon as I got the car started, I peeled out of his driveway, not caring if I got stopped by the cops.  My cell phone started ringing immediately as I drove away, but I didn’t bother answering.  I knew it’d be Ted, and the last thing I wanted to do was talk to him right now.  Besides, I had to concentrate on getting home in one piece.  Not that I had much to worry about concerning myself, but I didn’t want to cause any accidents on the way.

As soon as I was safely in my home, I ran into my bedroom and threw myself on my bed.  I hated acting like a typical girl, but I couldn’t stop weeping.  I hadn’t known Ted long, but I thought we’d been so simpatico.  I thought he would be man enough to deal with my strange situation; I was obviously wrong.  I could feel a migraine coming which occurred sometimes when I cried too much.  I didn’t care, however, as I welcomed anything that would make me feel more miserable.  My heart wrenched in my chest, causing me to gasp for air.  I pounded the bed best I could and wished it was Ted’s face.  Speaking of the devil, I could hear him talking to my answering machine.

“Margaret, I am so, so sorry.  It’s just that your news shocked the hell out of me, then you kicked me out and wouldn’t answer my calls.  I just—no.  I fucked up.  That’s all.  Lucinda is gone.  Please call me.”  When Hell fro—never.  I would never call him again.  The one thing I couldn’t tolerate was infidelity, which he should have known.  I closed my eyes and cried even harder until I felt someone’s arms around me.  Without looking up, I knew it was Lucifer.

“Margaret Marilyn,” he murmured into my hair.  “Let me comfort you.”  I turned around, facing my nemesis.  He glowed, even in the dark, and there was something almost angelic about his smile.  I reminded myself that he was an angel, albeit one who had fallen to the dark side.  It didn’t dim his allure, however.  There was no trace of the whipping Li Ling had put on him last night, and he was beautiful.  He was erect, but he didn’t press himself against me as he carefully enveloped me in his arms.  His wings folded themselves around us, and I felt so safe—cocooned.  “Cry, Margaret Marilyn.  Get him out of your system.”  I opened my mouth to protest that I wouldn’t get over Ted so easily, but Lucifer captured my mouth with his.  Any thoughts, any words in my head were instantly forgotten as the white-hot pain/pleasure shot through my body when his tongue touched mine.

“Morningstar,” I breathed once we’d broken off the kiss.

“No,” Lucifer whispered.  “No more talking.”  He kissed me again, gently lowering me onto the bed.  I touched the charm around my neck but only to rip it off and throw it in the corner.  I reached up for Lucifer, pulling him down to me.  I knew what I was doing was wrong.  I knew that there would be dire consequences for this act, but I didn’t give a damn.  This time, I was the one who kissed Lucifer, the one who pulled him closer to me.  He lifted his magnificent head and looked me right in the eyes.  “I’m only going to ask you once, Margaret Marilyn.  Do you want me to leave?”  I kissed him hungrily, hoping that would be enough of an answer.  Apparently, it wasn’t because he pulled away again.  No matter how much I scolded him, he wouldn’t move until I told him what he wanted to hear.

“No, Morningstar, I don’t want you to leave,” I whispered, feeling ineffably sad as I did.  The feeling left, however, when Lucifer crushed my lips with his.  All the contradictory emotions I’d felt before multiplied tenfold as we continued to kiss.  I was in agony but of a beatific kind.  I wondered if this was what Jesus had felt when he was crucified.

“You are mine now, Margaret Marilyn,” Lucifer said gravely, staring down at me with an odd look in his eyes.  If he weren’t the devil, I’d say it was remorse.  I didn’t think about it any longer once he divested me of my dress and showed me what it felt like to really be fucked.  We didn’t use a condom, of course, and the sensation of his cock slicing through me was indescribable.  I knew I was ruined for human consumption after this experience, but I didn’t much care.  I clung to Lucifer as he continued fucking me with slow, measured strokes.

“Harder, Morningstar,” I ordered, biting his shoulder.  I liked my sex rough, and I delighted in being with someone I couldn’t hurt.  I slapped his ass, marveling at the feel of his skin.  It was so warm under my touch and yet, there was a core of ice underneath.  It was unlike any skin I’d ever felt, and it was silky-soft with veins of steel running through it.

“As you wish.”  Lucifer pushed into me brutally, literally taking my breath away.  This time, however, he must have decided that slow wasn’t the way to go.  He started fucking me so hard, I thought he’d push his cock right through me.  I cried out several times as his cock touched me in places I didn’t even know I had.

“Fuck me, Morningstar,” I gasped as Lucifer increased his pace.  He was moving so quickly, he became a blur in front of my eyes.  My body was pulsating with the energy he was creating.  Just when I couldn’t stand it any longer, Lucifer slowed down.  I couldn’t take much more of this as the sensations threatened to overwhelm me.  Every time the pleasure increased, so did the pain.  Hot, cold, hot, cold—nothing was ever static during this coupling.  Everything shifted; everything changed.  I wanted to tell Lucifer to let me come, but I had lost my ability to speak.  As if he’d read my mind, he grabbed my hips and pulled me closer.  I arched my hips so a better angle was achieved.  I could feel the telltale buzz happening somewhere in my cervix.  I closed my eyes and let it overcome me, screaming as it did.

Simultaneously, Lucifer let loose as well.  I felt his semen burning its way through me.  I felt as if my pussy was being cauterized in a cleansing way.  Baptism by fire, it was exquisite.  I grabbed Lucifer’s ass and pulled him closer as my orgasm crested again and again.  I felt as if I’d never stop coming.  I wept as Lucifer continued shooting off inside me.  I opened my eyes to find Lucifer staring at me, unblinking as his body did its thing.  The craziest thing happened, however, as his orgasm subsided.  His body began glowing, giving him an unearthly appearance.  His wings, always magnificent, turned pure white.  His golden hair grew even silkier, and his blue eyes became almost translucent.

“What the fuck?”  I asked, pushing him off me.  At the same time, I felt something cramp inside me, causing me a great deal of pain.  I tried to sit up, but all I could do was double over.

“Margaret Marilyn!”  Lucifer said, his voice astonished.  Gone was the sneer and the sarcasm, only to be replaced with a wonderment that bordered on sacred.  “What have you done to me?”

“The question is, what the fuck have you done to me?” I screamed, jumping out of bed.  I wanted to run to the bathroom, but I couldn’t make it that far.  I fell to my knees as the pain in my stomach grew more intense.  As quickly as it came, however, it disappeared.  I tumbled over, exhausted from the agony.

“Margaret Marilyn, thank you!”  Lucifer said, beaming at me.  I looked up at him in shock.  Lucifer thanking someone?  That had to be a first.

“What did I do?”  I asked, carefully standing up again.  There seemed to be no permanent damage, but I still felt queasy.

“You finished the transaction,” God said, appearing out of the blue.  He was in all black—again contrasting sharply with His son.  I sat on the bed, not ready for whatever it was God was going to tell me.

“Father!”  Lucifer said, reaching out to embrace God.  God returned the embrace fondly, smiling down at Lucifer.  I stared at the scene, open-mouthed, not knowing what the fuck was going on. “I am restored, am I not?”

“Yes, you are, My Son.”  God reluctantly let go of Lucifer, smiling broadly as He did.

“What is going on,” I asked in a low voice, suddenly afraid to hear the answer.  I had a dim inkling of what was happening, but I needed to hear it out loud to make sure.  “What transaction?  What got finished?  Why are the two of you acting like the last few millennia never happened?”

“Thank you so much, Margaret Marilyn,” Lucifer said, rushing over to hug me.  There was no lust in his hug, however, purely agape love.  “Because of you, I can reclaim my rightful place in heaven.”

“What?  No!”  I jerked out of Lucifer’s embrace, stunned by what he’d said.  “God?  Is it true?  He’s going to be—”  I couldn’t finish the sentence due to the constriction of my throat.  “What about—”  I gestured to my stomach.  “She was supposed to—and what about Hell?  How can there be a Hell without—no!”  It hit me all at once, what God’s master plan was.  “No!  You told me she’d be the next savior of the world!  You are not sending my daughter to Hell!”  I was in anguish as I rocked back and forth.  It had been bad enough when I thought my daughter was going to be the next Jesus Christ; it was unthinkable that she was going to be the next devil.  “How can you do this to me, God?”  I looked up at God who was also glowing.  He looked at me with infinite compassion, mirroring the look on Lucifer’s face.

“Margaret, my dear, you are so bright.  In order to have a Heaven, there must be a Hell.  In order to have a Hell, there must be a caretaker of Hell.”

“You lied to me!  You said she was going to be the next savior.  You said I would be the next Mother of God.”  I struck out at God who allowed my fist to bounce harmlessly off His arm.

“I did not lie, Margaret,” God said gently.  “She will be the next savior by allowing My son to do what he was meant to do—what he was born to do.  Guan-Yin has just as an important role as Lucifer—you must realize that.”  He paused a second before adding, “And I never said you’d be the next Mother of God.”  I reviewed our conversations in my mind best as I could remember.  Damned if He was right.  I was the one who kept referring to myself as Mother of God, but He never corrected me, the bastard.  That had to be lying by omission, but I already knew God didn’t have a problem with that.

“You’re banishing my daughter to Hell,” I whispered, focused on the imminent issue.  The enormity of what I had just said nearly crushed me.  “When?  When will she have to go?”

“When she is eighteen,” God answered, His voice still soft.  “Lucifer will remain in Hell until that time.  Then he will—”

“I don’t give a fuck about the Morningstar,” I sobbed, curling in a ball.  My daughter, the being growing inside of me, was going to Hell.  That was all I cared about—not about the goddamn Morningstar.  There was silence behind me, then some rustling.  In a second, I felt arms around me, but I shook them off.

“Margaret Marilyn, listen to me.”  It was Lucifer, but it wasn’t the Lucifer I knew.  The Lucifer I had fucked.  This Lucifer had a lighter, more ethereal voice suited to his promotion.  “Hell is not that bad.  Your daughter will not feel pain down there.  She will be the queen of her realm, which means that she will be in charge of Hell.  You have eighteen years to shape her.  Do you understand?”

“Will I get to see her after she—goes?”  I asked, still not looking at Lucifer.  He had put his arms around me again, and I didn’t have the heart to push him away.  This was my daughter we were talking about.  How could I bear knowing her destiny?  How could I raise her, pretending she was normal when I knew where she’d end up?

“Since you’ve been to Hell already, yes, you will.  You will be allowed to go there unharmed, and she, of course, will be able to come here if there is an open portal.”  Lucifer stroked my hair.  Despite myself, a sense of calm filled me.

“God planned this from the very beginning, didn’t He?”  I asked sorrowfully, finally turning to look at Lucifer.  His eyes were sad as well, and a tear fell from them.

“I’m afraid for your sake that, yes, He did.”

“Why me?”  The question which had always bothered me came rushing back to the fore.  “Does He hate me that much?”

“Margaret Marilyn, you are most precious in His eyes.  I know it’s difficult to understand, but it’s because He believes in you so greatly that you were chosen.  It’s going to be difficult raising your daughter to assume her rightful position.  I’m not going to lie to you.  Reigning over Hell will not be pleasant for her as she will not be a fallen one such as I.  It will hurt her to rule down there so she will have to be strong.  My Father must have thought you’d have the fortitude to raise her.”  I wanted to tell him that his Father was wrong, but the grief wouldn’t allow me.  I continued to weep, feeling bereft for something I hadn’t wanted in the first place.

“I’m sorry, Margaret Marilyn, I truly am.”  Lucifer hugged me to him, causing me to completely break down.  Neither of us said anything as he continued to hold me; there was nothing left to be said.

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