Chapter Thirteen; Part One
“Where are you? Are you still with Ted? Call me.”
“OK, now I know you’re not still with your boy. Call me!”
I laughed as I erased Ned’s messages, each increasingly agitated. I had no idea why he took such an interest in my love life when his was infinitely more complicated and fascinating, but I knew I better call him before he busted a gut. It was ten in the morning Sunday morning, and I had just gotten home. Ted had skipped church this morning, but he wanted me to go with him at some later date. I promised I would, and to my surprise, I was looking forward to it. It would be a change from the Taiwanese church, that was for sure. Speaking of, Ned should be there right now, but he didn’t go every week; I had a hunch he’d be home this morning just waiting for me to call. I called him, tapping my foot as I waited for him to answer.
“Girl, what took you so long? Did you just get home?” Ned was at full decibel, which meant I had to hold my cell phone away from my ear. “Oh, no, you didn’t!” I could practically see him waggling his neck, even across the wires.
“Yes, I did just get home,” I admitted, a smile playing on my lips. “You wouldn’t believe the drama.”
I wandered into the living room, sinking onto my couch as I did. I was wearing a t-shirt and sweats borrowed from Ted. Of course, the latter kept falling off me until Ted had fixed it with a quick basting. I was impressed Ted had a sewing kit until he reminded me that he was a bachelor. I liked wearing his clothes, however, and I wasn’t sure I was going to give them back. I spilled the beans about Ted’s ex, and Ned was appropriately appalled. He knew Lucinda, of course, and he couldn’t believe she would cause a scene like that. When I mentioned that she’d been drunk, Ned hadn’t been surprised. Seemed it ran in her family. What a shame.
“Now it’s time to dish the dirt,” Ned announced once we were through analyzing Lucinda’s behavior. “How was he in the sack?”
“I don’t kiss and tell,” I said indignantly. “Especially not when it’s someone you know.” I couldn’t resist adding, “I was completely satisfied, though, I’ll tell you that much. We used a three-pack of condoms, if that tells you anything.”
“You go, girl,” Ned cheered. He knew how difficult it was for me to find someone who complemented my libido. That was the most crushing thing about Gary’s betrayal—he had been making excuses not to have sex with me the last six or so months we’d been together, leaving me frustrated more often than not. While I was wondering what was wrong with him during that time, he was getting it on with one co-ed or another. “I want details!” He knew I rarely talked about my sexcapades unless they were one-night stands, so he wasn’t offended when I declined. “I’m happy for you,” Ned said, his voice subdued for once. “You deserve someone who treats you right.”
“As do you,” I replied. Ned had known his fair share of heartache, so I was glad there was someone who put a smile on his face. “How’s Alonzo?” I had to listen to exactly how Alonzo was for the next ten minutes because unlike me, Ned did kiss and tell. By the time he was done, I knew far more about Alonzo than I’d ever wanted to know.
“Oh, I have a great idea!” Ned said after his recitation. “I’m inviting you and Ted to my place for dinner very soon. I’ll invite Alonzo as well, and it’ll be like a double-date! What do you think?”
“That’ll be fun,” I said enthusiastically. “Alonzo doesn’t hate women, does he?” More than once, Ned had introduced me to one of his paramours only to discover that I was most emphatically not welcomed.
“Nope. Some of his best friends are women. He told me so himself.” With that settled, I got off the phone. I wanted to clean the apartment—something I did once in a blue moon. Alas, it was not to be.